I am always yours.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Lining up in the elevator fifteen minutes before one, there I was standing, with my backpack and laptop in tow. my eyes are loitering around, looking for something I know will never come back. It hurts to know that the one thing you have always wanted is the wrong thing, the wrong love, the love that was not supposed to happen, but it did. Having seen familiar faces waiting for their turn to ride the lift in order for them to go to their desired floors, I was so eager to see you, though I know what would happen: you will just wave.

And there you went passing by without noticing my presence, with your every step that went the opposite direction, my heart went sobbing. Switchfoot's Always started playing on my head as if my life was a TV series, and this scene would be the one where the male protagonist is temporarily leaving the female protagonist to seek the great perhaps. Then I imagine the guy hugging the girl so tightly and then they would never let go, but they did. This was happening on a sunset, with the sun constantly changing the sky's colors from yellow to orange to pink to lavender to a deep purple. What a lovely picture, ironic to what was happening.

Then the elevator door opened, and I was to enter so I can reach my destination, Math class.

I was still thinking upon reaching our classroom. 30 quick minutes passed and it was declared as a free cut, so I went down to my usual spot, where me and my friends often hang out. At this point, my attention was somehow diverted, thanks to the sense of urgency that came upon me, to do my video presentation's story board. The moment I finished the said task, I chatted with some friends, then decided to read the school newspaper. It was already 2:30, dismissal time for the 1pm class.

I was reading this very interesting article until I saw a familiar pair of sneakers below the newspaper I was holding. "This looks so familiar," I said to myself, thinking for five seconds until I felt something on my head and decided to lift my head and look on who was in front of me.

It was him. Just as I was looking for him more than an hour ago.

But no, I had to shove him away. He was in an unfamiliar territory so to speak, and being the better person, I decided to push him away verbally, but still injecting some kindness. I even asked him if he still has a class and where he was going until I realized I should not go with him like we used to.

Then I had to tell him, "get out".

It was very painful. It hit me where it hurts the most, but my mind was telling me that I did the right thing. My heart was bleeding inside, not knowing how it would react to this sudden burst of emotion.

I don't know what to do next.

Miss Cranky Pants told the world @ 10:04 PM☎